The Hornevian Triads (basis for the Enneagram Love Triangles) from my book Sex and the Enneagram, give huge insight into how we negotiate the world of relationships and sex. Here’s an article I wrote that appears in the International Enneagram Associations 9-Points magazine on this fascinating subject. The article examines the three types who advance, those who retreat and those who feel sex must be earned.
I was listening to the wedding vows of a young man to his bride. After the usual “to have and to hold” section, he added, “I promise to be present in our relationship.” I felt that was such a beautiful commitment to make. Because truly showing up for each other takes courage, compassion, commitment and self-reflection. Relationships and sex can be a rocky road. (Or is it just me?)
For many of us our emotional wounding lies in the sexual arena. Yet what has caused profound pain is potentially the path to healing. An understanding of the Enneagrams can help us reclaim our innate sexual health and guide us on this path. Consequently, combining the Enneagram with our sexuality is an often neglected, but important exploration.
When writing Sex and the Enneagram I used German psychoanalyst Karen Horney’s Hornevian Triads to describe our approaches to sex.