How to recognize each type from their Enneagram dating profiles.
You’re tired of Saturday nights watching series, so finally, you take the step to liven up your social life. As a result, you’re swiping through a pile of dating profiles. Who to pick? Wouldn’t it be helpful if you had some idea of what your proposed match’s Enneagram type might be? (Note: This is fairly general working with the Instinctual Drives, wings etc. could hone things down even more.)
All excerpts are taken from my book Sex and the Enneagrams. So first of all, lets look at a probable profile for a Type One:
TYPE ONE: (female)
This advert is going to be conservative and matter of fact. Stating “no chancers, smokers, drinkers etc.” is common.
I lead an active life. I’m a retired teacher and now work for upliftment charities—I’m currently organizing a fundraiser for cystic fibrosis by climbing a local mountain. If I don’t do it, who will?
I enjoy hiking and the outdoors, coffee and camping. People who inspire me are a plus, and would love to be the same for others. I’m old-fashioned in some ways, I guess—I enjoy a man with good manners. Definitely no drinkers or smokers. If you’re looking for fun and a great smile, I’m your girl!
TYPE TWO: (female)
Expect loads of hearts, smiley faces etc. for this type.
I ‘m not interested in most guys, just you—if you’re a romantic gentleman who’s emotionally, mentally, and financially secure. Looking for someone who knows how to treat a lady and is ready for a long-term relationship. (Happy to relocate for the right person.) 😊😊♥♥♥
Me: I’m a fun-loving, affectionate, sexy gal who knows what it takes to make a relationship work. I’m looking to meet someone to pleasure and please! I’m a great hostess who’ll cook you your favorite meals with special care. You can rely on me to fulfill your fantasies and be the woman you’re dreaming about. ♥♥♥😊😊😊😊😊😊
TYPE THREE: (male)
This type will be selling themselves to you, so the advert will be more focused on what they are than what what they want.
Hello, gorgeous! I’m a SWM, 6′, with a muscular build (yes, I do work out a lot). I’ve been told that I’m good-looking, communicate well (I’ve just completed a public speaking course), and am fun to be with (I have loads of friends). I love people. Because I work and play hard—some describe me as an all-round “winner.” I own my own apartment and drive two luxury sportscars (bit of a petrol-head, I admit). I look forward to taking you to some amazing restaurants and exotic places. It would be nice if you were as beautiful physically as you are emotionally. Finally, I hope you’ll send a recent photo. In the meantime, smile, and remember: Your life is about to change!
TYPE FOUR: (male)
Because Type Fours want to portray themselves as exotic or unique they’ll write profiles along those lines – anything but boring!
So, here I am, this is me . . .
- I’m a romantic at heart (I once met a girl online and then flew halfway across the world to meet her, sure she was my soulmate. OK, so I was only 18 . . .).
- I feel like the family I grew up in wasn’t my real family—bit of a black sheep, I guess.
- I’m the guy who dropped out of school and opened a decorating business—no boss and loads of free time (and beautiful things).
- Music. Oh yeah. I play some acoustic guitar and write songs. Music carries us back to emotions we felt in the past. Feelings are addictive to me.
- I love to dance salsa and am learning the tango. Just waiting for that night in the Asia Bar in Bariloche with you . . .
- I do Body Stress Release therapy for a few clients (just so as you know I like to massage . . .)
- Definitely decaf and vegan.
- Waffle addict.
- Extrovert 16%, introvert 74%, undecided 10%
- Limelight—no way
- Favorite artist: Freda Kahlo
- Travel—to weird and totally wonderful places
- Road-tripping, meditating, auras, yoga and thoughts as energy—yes to all
If you could be my real soulmate, contact me.
TYPE FIVE: (male)
Fives are generally fairly awkward socially, so may try to use humor, puns or a display of their intellect to break the ice.
I’m always interested in learning new things, whether it’s history, politics, or the guitar. (I started teaching myself piano last year and am loving the challenge.) I’ve lived alone for most of my life, but now want to share it with someone. I don’t need a huge amount, but having my own space will sometimes be appreciated. I love interesting conversations, so if you’d like to debate Tolstoy versus Flaubert, I’m your man. In return, I can make a mean pizza or chat about most things. I’m guess I’m a creature of contradictions—a night owl who’s an early riser (I battle to sleep), an athletic bookworm, and I can be funny and serious at the same time. Swipe me and let’s see if our minds can meet!
TYPE SIX: (female)
Sixes often take some time deciding whether or not to place a profile. If they do chances are that they’ll be unsure of what approach to take. They may use self-depreciating humor to show that they are approachable.
Before you read further, I should tell you that I somehow manage to spill ice cream (Rocky Road, mostly) on myself every time I eat it—which is often. If that hasn’t put you off, read on . . . I’m a nursing sister and I love what I do. Mostly, I love the people I work with at the hospital—we’re a great team. I’m no supermodel, but I enjoy sport (endurance running). I love cooking and do a great Julia Child impersonation. (One day I’ll have my own restaurant.) My special skill (other than cooking) is standing on one foot while balancing a bottle on my nose. Scoff if you like, but it occasionally wins me free drinks at the pub! So if you’re chilled, don’t mess around in relationships, and at least 72% awesome (and if you can tolerate my Nutella addiction), drop me a line!
TYPE SEVEN (male)
Sevens will attempt to attract you through what they’d enjoy – the promise of fun and adventure. Once again, like the Type Three it’ll be more about them than what they’re looking for.
If you’re looking for laid-back, that’s so not me. If you’re after a fun time, be it trying out the gnocchi at a new Italian restaurant, bungee jumping off a bridge, or meandering through a remote region in Africa, then I’m your man! (Even my cat is hyper—he climbs up the drapes and chases his tail.)
I’m spontaneous, so weekends roll out in a series of adventures and explorations—there’s always something new to try. I love the outdoors and WARNING: you’ll have to share me with my kite-board (and cat). Suburbia doesn’t work for me, my rooftop apartment in the city center does. Together we’ll create loads of fun, where laughter and new experiences ensure we don’t ever get bored. If you enjoy the great side of life and trying new things, hey, we’re already a match!
TYPE EIGHT (male)
Eights are straightforward and don’t beat around the bush when describing what they’re after.
Writing profiles can be challenge, but they are generally warm-hearted and enjoy banter.
Hey, babe, I’m your man!
Want to experience life with a guy who’ll take you places you’ve never been before? I like making a woman feel like a woman. I’m a big man with a big heart (who’s really bad at writing dating adverts)!
Me: Straight-talking, hunting, fishing, outdoor guy who can pack away a mean steak and who says it like it is.
What I’m looking for: Sexy, voluptuous, warm, friendly woman who likes a man’s man.
What I’m not looking for: Theatrics, bullshitters, money-grabbers.
So, if I want you to be my gal, I’ll wine and dine you in a style you could just get accustomed to, and I promise I’ll treat you almost as well as my Lamborghini.
TYPE NINE (female)
Finally, Enneagram dating profile of Type Nines: Generally Nines are happy to get along with most people and tend to merge with another’s like or interests. You’ll find their ads upbeat and with a desire to please.
You could say I’m an amateur everything. I surf, cook, hike, read (loads), paint for pleasure, blog sometimes, love crossword puzzles and animals, and hate filing things. So, I do a lot, but haven’t won prizes for anything yet! I belong to several clubs—a book club, a writers’ circle, Save the Coastline. I get on well with pretty much anyone, which doesn’t really help when you work from home! (I’m a freelance editor.) I’ve been told I’m easy-going (true because I hate arguments), so if you love a good fight, move on!
I love my life and the people in it. I’m a cat person, although I don’t dislike dogs. Cats are just so independent and furry.
A great night is spent on the couch with a good movie, but I do like eating out too. Sushi, Italian, steakhouse, Indian, or Mexican are all fine with me—it’s the company I’m after. Likewise in men—I really don’t have a “type.” If you have something interesting to say, I want to hear it. Let’s meet at my favorite bar. On second thoughts, what’s your favorite bar?
Note: The book Sex and the Enneagrams by Ann Gadd, contains profile examples from both sexes.